You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
