if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
