dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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