I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
return my video game
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
