Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
