Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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