Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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