i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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