I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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