how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
