Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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