dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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