How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
