matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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