so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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