You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
