we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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