I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The struggles of a small town man whore
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
