oh god the rape fog is back!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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