i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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