so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
