My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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