My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
