Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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