I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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