I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
