I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
