I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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