we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
