Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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