I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
