found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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