he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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