I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dear god my vagina.
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