I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
