Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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