i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
