she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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