By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
