So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
