i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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