Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
