this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
