So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
