you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
how drunk are you?
Several
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
