The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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