Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
