i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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