her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Boobs are out for the taking
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
