I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
